I knew from a young age about body image, not in a negative way but I knew about weight loss and weight gain, I was brought up in an open family who often talked about topics like that.
Personally, I wouldn't want my future children to be aware of their body image until necessary, but unfortunately in today's society it's oneiif the most criticised part of us.
Body image isn't the only factor of self confidence - let's not stray from what self confidence actually is.
You can show self confidence through the way you interact with others whether verbally, physically or even with eye contact.
I for one am not a very confident person, and I have learnt throughout my teenage years how to deal with it so it doesn't hinder me from achieving what I want.
That's a key issue with self confidence - it stops people from believing. Beliveing in themselves, believing they can do something or that they look fine without makeup.
I know what areas I am not confident in, and I'm not ashamed to admit it either. I'm not confident without top layer eye liner, it's actually ridiculous how comfortable and happy I feel with a black line and a cat flick.
I am also not confident with maths, I have always struggled with maths from when I was around 6/7, I didn't have very good teachers for a few years and it really knocked my confidence. It was also frustrating because I always excelled in other areas of school like P.E, English and languages - I just never got the hang of maths.
Throughout my teen years I found I have really grown with my self confidence, I was painfully shy as a child. I was always the child who sat reading a book scared of the world - and I guess in some sense I'm still that child, just with a better understanding of social skills and self confidence.
I have found ways to improve my self confidence, and although I am no expert I felt that because I have lived and am living through it I'd like to share my tips with you too.
- PLAN AHEAD.
I always think planning ahead can really help whether it be for a family party(my worst nightmare, my anxiety really plays out with these sort of events), a journey somewhere - this could be to town or to another city by yourself, a college or university assignment - I always planned my assignments before doing them so I could look at what I had to do in order to complete them so I didn't go off target i.e: twitter.
- PUT YOURSELF IN NEW SITUATIONS.
I have done this a variety of times, sometimes through a choice of my own, others not.
I chose to go to a new college that none of my friends went to, I had to make a brand new group of friends and learn how to interact with new people - this was when I really learnt that you canNOT like everybody in life and vice versa.
I was enrolled in Tae Kwon Do lessons by my mum and dad because I was bullied for a little while. I wasn't the worst in all fairness, I made new friends and learnt how to kick and punch correctly, but I quit after three years because I became a teenager who thought the internet was the only important thing in life(still do).
My biggest new situation(I don't know if that makes sense but let's go with it..) is that I moved out at 19 across to Switzerland. I knew no one, I was with a brand new family and I was very, very anxious. But hey, it was the best thing I've ever done and I'd do it again and again.
- LIST YOUR STRENGTHS.
When I'm feeling anxious or unhappy or just low I have a diary where I vent, it's usually filled with ramblings about places I've visited in Switzerland, but I also set myself a challenge where I write ten things I'm good at and by the end of it I always feel better.
- DECIDE WHAT ACTUALLY MATTERS.
When I was eleven, a 'friend' of mine told me my nose was too big in a photo. This knocked my confidence completely, even at eleven. And still to this day, eight nearly nine years later I still delete photos, or untag photos on Facebook if I think my nose is too big. It's my biggest hurdle to get over mentally, I've had people tell me my nose is fine etc but to me it doesn't matter, I see what I see.
But I've also had other criticisms such as:
"You're far too skinny."
"You have really small eyes."
"You have big feet for a girl."
"You have really long, weird fingers."
"You're shoulders are broad for a girl."
But I decided very quickly what I found were important factors, but then I thought about all of the things said to me and realised they're all criticisms of my appearance, not my personality. And I then realised that it is far more important what people think of your personality, than your image.
I mean, I'd rather someone think I'm a funny person than a pretty one.
This is how I started to build my confidence, I stopped picking myself apart because of others. I stopped tearing myself to pieces to make others whole. It's much more important to be nice than look nice.
And that's when I decided to make new friends, meet new people.
I'm not here to tell you what to do at all, but I will tell you to carry on being yourself, because if you're trying to be like someone else think about in ten years time, will you still want to be like them?
It's impossible to become confident over night, I wish I could. Self confidence is an on-going process that only you can improve on.
So just keep going.
Thanks for reading, until next time..
Natalie xx
